Imaginary Mentors and Real Lessons

How Feynman, Gell-Mann, and a bit of imagination keep me grounded as a creator

Have you ever felt a little lost as a creator?

I certainly have. Quite often, to be honest.

When I was in my 20s, I read a book that advised us to have some imaginary mentors. I don’t remember the name of that book (Sorry!), but I remembered the author said that whenever he faced problems in life, his mind would wander into this imaginary board room, and his team of imaginary mentors would be there to give him advice with various perspectives. I found this suggestion interesting and useful, and I’ve adopted it since.

Two of my imaginary mentors are renowned astrophysicists Richard Feynman and Nobel Prize winner Murray Gell-Mann. Both appeared in Leonard Mlodinow’s book Feynman’s Rainbow, one of my favorite books to return to when I feel like I'm going offtrack in life.

The first three panels are direct quotes from the book Feynman’s Rainbow.

To be fair, while I have read a few of Feynman’s books, I have never read Gell-Mann’s work. His book, The Quark and the Jaguar, is still on my to-read list. The reason he was selected as one of my imaginary mentors was because I found Mlodinow’s version of him in Feynman’s Rainbow quite relatable: he liked to categorize nature and looked through things in mathematical order. I don’t think in mathematical order, but I am very systematic, think in structures, and tend to analyze things.

On top of it, Gell-Mann is portrayed as a bit insecure, constantly needing external validation. It’s a trait that we all know we shouldn’t have; but deep down, we probably all share that same insecurity.

It’s very human.

But according to Mlodinow, Richard Feynman was something else. He had this intense curiosity to find out how things work. Whether or not those things have previously been discovered was of no importance. The joy was truly in the finding.

“Don’t do it for the wrong reasons. Don’t do it unless you really believe. Because if it doesn’t work out, you could end up wasting a lot of time.” ~Richard Feynman.

I know the meaning is in the journey. We all know it. We’ve heard it a thousand times. But I still need a gentle reminder every now and then, when I deviate too far for the wrong reasons, like secretly hoping for industry recognitions, peer recognitions, or readers recognitions. I will never say those things don’t have values. Of course they do. But they are not the ultimate North Star in my creative journey.

I don’t want my life to be chasing successes or external validations, and I need imaginary mentors to remind me periodically.

“Whatever monumental importance I might attach to success, in the end it is not success that really matters.” ~Leonard Mlodinow, Feynman’s Rainbow.

There is also this paragraph in the book that I return to over and over again. But I don’t want to rob you the joy of discovering it yourself. So, continue reading only if you don’t mind a bit of a spoiler.

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Potential book spoiler ahead.

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“I had gone through college and into academia in a hurry, wanting to rush ahead with my work, to prove to the world that I had been alive, and that it had mattered. That was an external focus to life. That was Murray [Gell-mann’s] way. To accomplish and impress. It was the classical path. The traditional one. It seemed to be an obvious and worthy goal. But for me, it was like chasing a rainbow. Even worse, it was like chasing other people’s rainbows. Rainbows whose beauty I didn’t really see… Feynman’s example caused me to rethink mine. He didn’t seek the leadership role. He didn’t gravitate to the sexy “unified” theories. For him satisfaction in discovery was there even if what you discover was already known by others… It was self-satisfaction. Feynman’s focus was internal, and his internal focus gave him freedom.” ~Leonard Mlodinow, Feynman’s Rainbow.

Every now and then, I remind myself to not chase other people’s rainbows.